On to the Good Stuff - Memorial Day, Day 2

So, after writing about how I was so shortsighted to be worried about the rest of the weekend, I finally get to tell you why the rest of the weekend was so fabulous. Don't worry that I'll clutter the story with pictures, since I forgot my camera every single time we got out of the car.

The second day dawned and I had new resolve. We were going to have a good time, dammit! If it killed us! We wanted to check out the arts festival happening in town over the weekend, but we also wanted to hike. We planned the festival first, just to give it a look, and discovered that there was a playground smack in the middle of it. Of course we got out and let Caetlin play for awhile. We looked at the art, which trended toward the mountainy folk-art kind of stuff (plus some guy playing "classics" like, "Tears in Heaven" and "Unchained Melody" on the Native American pan flute. I put "classics" in quotes like that because- come on, people! A Native American pan flute? Doesn't that sound wrong to you? Yet it doesn't convey how truly wrong it actually was). We bought some stuff, mostly because I can't help myself whenever I see an artisanal soap maker. We debated driving out to the hike we wanted to take, versus taking Caetlin home and to nap. She had been playing hard and walking a lot; again we thought we had worn her out. We bought some fair food (my diet steered me away from the funnel cake and toward the roasted ear of corn. With no butter. Italics cannot sufficiently establish the horror inherent in that choice. The corn was lovely, but- funnel cake!) and a roasted sweet potato for Caetlin, who ate it for the next two days.

We took her home, fed her lunch and put her down. Again. And again she defied all reason and logic and the needs of her body and stayed awake. Only for about 2 hours this time, and when she went down, she went down hard- for over 2 hours. It was getting later in the afternoon when she woke up, and we had to decide whether we wanted to chance trying the hike that we wanted.

Unfortunately for us, the "family friendly" hikes that we scouted in the vicinity were generally about an hour's drive away. I don't mind that; the drives are pretty and Caetlin is generally very good in the car. But it does make for tricky planning when you have to add at least two hours' travel time just to do a 1.2 mile hike.

She got up at about 5:30, and we decided to go for it, throwing everything into the car and driving on out. Am I glad we did. The trail was gorgeous: well-maintained, easy, through lovely forest, starting down near Cooper's Creek, which is a stereotypical mountain spring (think soap commercial) and climbing through several different phases of woodlands. We put Caetlin on my back, and though she really wanted to walk, we distracted her with songs and counting (it's a favorite of hers to count with us or to hear us count to her) and asking her what different animals say. It was a truly nice hike, despite that we turned the wrong way down a T-intersection of the trail, and didn't actually complete the specific trail we were on.

I want to pause for a minute to say a little about Cooper's Creek. We drove what felt like forever, mostly on National Forest Service roads that are only numbered; it seriously felt like we were in the middle of freakin' nowhere. Like people might emerge from behind the trees if we stopped and confirm all our worst stereotypes about mountain folk. If there were any people, that is; we literally felt like we were a thousand miles from civilization. But there is a campground near Cooper's Creek Recreation Area, and I have to say, that place was hopping! Every campsite taken. Who knew? There were probably 20 or 30 campsites back there, every one with several people hanging around. Kids playing in the stream, tons of people fishing, dogs lounging around- it was such a surprise after 30 minutes of the least-populated nothing you've ever seen.

Anyway, we made it home okay, having to turn and head back after maybe a mile, just because we were losing daylight and wanted to get Caetlin home and down for bed at a reasonable hour. But it was thoroughly enjoyable, a great end to a really nice day.

To be continued.

Don't I Feel Sheepish

Reading back over my last post, later when I was in a different frame of mind, I felt a little sheepish for being so incredibly annoyed. Yet the post was definitely evocative of that annoyance, no doubt- I remembered exactly how irritated I was at everything right at that time.

My irritation was my own fault in large part. It has to do with expectations. I had unrealistic expectations for the first day of our trip. Our second and third days were much better, ranking near the top of days I have spent with my family, but that first day, I should have known better than to hope and expect that things would go perfectly.

One thing I'm learning about parenting a toddler is that toddlers are predictable, oh, probably 80% of the time. You know how they will react to any relatively familiar situation about 8 out of 10 times. But it's those other 2 times out of 10 that will really kick you in the (metaphorical) nuts.

You think he'll just LOVE that homemade mac and cheese, when in fact he won't try it because it's white instead of orange. You're sure she'll fall asleep in the car because she hasn't napped in three days, but really she'll just stay awake and either scream at you or make you sing "The Hello Song" from Bounce over and over (and over and over). (You may alternate with "The Goodbye Song" for variety.) He asks for "drum" and "spoon" and you produce both items (drum = tupperware), but it turns out that none of the spoons in the house will actually satisfy his need for "poon, peese." You think she'll have a blast riding through the woods attached to your back, when instead she pitches a fit every time she says, "Walk, peese" and is ignored.

I'll leave it to you to guess which of those things really happened to me this weekend, pronoun usage notwithstanding.

And the reason these little behavior "quirks" are such a metaphorical blow to the metaphorical male private parts is because a toddler's main form of communication is screaming. Oh, the quirkiness! Bonus points if it happens in public, you know, with lots of people around! You look like the awesome-est parent ever when your kid has the tantrum in the middle of the arts festival! Over Mommy's silly insistence that she actually wear the hat, instead of just putting it on and taking it back off again, proudly proclaiming, "Hat!" each time.

So, my expectations needed to be, uh, managed for the weekend, and like any rookie parent, I failed to manage myself (I keep thinking I might outgrow the "rookie" status some day, but it turns out that mastering the art of keeping the kid clean and clothed and fed is just the minor leagues. I'm nowhere near the bigs yet). The first day of any trip anywhere is tough on little kids. They are super malleable and definitely adjust to just about anything, but they do have their recalibration periods, and expecting them to recalibrate and have fun is just asking too much of them. I should know this by now. Yet I don't, which leads to posts like the last one.

And then when I get down about one thing not going the way it should, I also think about everything else that is wrong in my life, and then I get sucked into a self-pity spiral. And then I write petulant blog posts and then I go outside and kick rocks until I feel better.

Petty and Stupid

It's late in the afternoon. The family and I have relocated to the mountains of north Georgia for the long weekend, and our first day away has...not gone well. We were awakened too early by our early bird baby, who herself was awake too early. She's in a several-days-long cycle of not getting enough sleep during the days, which makes her a cranky baby. She was fine this morning, though, and I had high hopes for the day. We got on the road pretty early, off to an easy hiking trail recommended by some web site or other as good for families with little kids.

When we got there, right away things were not going as I hoped they would. Somehow I envisioned the three of us tramping through the woods next to the small lake, walking steadily along, admiring the views. Somehow I forgot my daughter is 21 months old. She stops to look at everything. She wants leaves pulled off plants for her, and my inability to distinguish poison ivy makes me extra cautious about that. She wants to hold every stick on the trail, and a few that aren't on the trail. She wants to see butterflies, though there are none in the vicinity. She wants the cup we are carrying for her, but not to drink from it; she wants it so she can drum on it with a stick. Only it's too big for her to hold with one hand, so she keeps dropping it. I want to at least close it so the built-in straw doesn't get dirty, but oh no. She'll be having none of that.

Bruce finally picked her up and put her on his shoulders, which seemed to work okay except she kept dropping her cup. I pitched a stupid, hormonal fit about envisioning me carrying her on my back when she didn't want to walk; I have a barely used Ergo Baby carrier that I would like to start using more often. I left it at the car on this particular occasion, though, which makes it hard for me to use it. Bruce, ever patient with me and my crankiness, suggested we head back to the car and take a different trail, since the one we were on was clearly not the level, family friendly one we had come for anyway.

We got the carrier and got her into it, and then headed down to the lake, where it turns out the trail is defunct. We found the remnants of it, but it isn't maintained and has downed trees over it. Also, the picnic area for this Forest Service recreation area was pretty trashed; lots of garbage everywhere, and a couple of picnic tables have inexplicably been thrown into the lake. It would have been a lovely spot, if not for the "_________ sucks cock" graffiti that was only two days old on the remaining picnic table and the empty Countrytime lemonade two-liter and Red Bull cans littering the ground. (UPDATE: It seems that the Forest Service has closed the campground and apparently does not maintain the area any longer, despite that the trail remains listed in the online trail guide to the Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest.)

We let Caetlin run around, believing we were letting her tire herself out, and then headed off to the grocery store and back to the cabin. After a big lunch, we thought she would be ready for a nice long nap. I was ready for a nap too, once she went down.

Which she proceeded not to do for the next three hours. Bruce changed three poopy diapers. He finally got up with her and took her to run around the downstairs while I tried to sleep, but she kept crying and waking me up. Right when I got up, Bruce was taking her upstairs to give the nap one last try. And it worked, with most of the afternoon pissed away. She's been asleep for two and a half hours, the weather has been gorgeous, and we've been stuck here. Bruce is snoozing next to me; I'm irrevocably awake at this point. Grumble.

I'm grumpy about other things too: work isn't my favorite place right now, as I ever watch other associates get better projects and more work than I, for reasons that have never been explained to me. I'm growing tired of Weight Watchers, and feeling seriously deprived lately. I know, I know- just eat some of what I want and move on- it probably won't matter. But it will matter; it will stop me from losing weight as quickly as I want to. I remain not pregnant (another grumble, but more like a small worry- it hasn't been that long since we've started trying, but it's been longer than it took with Caetlin, and I'm irrationally worried that something is wrong), and so long as I'm not pregnant, I want to be thin! But I also want to eat Taco Bell and Ben & Jerry's and McDonald's fries. And cheese- I miss cheese. And wine and beer and sandwiches with mayo and steaks and Krispy Kreme donuts and pasta that isn't whole wheat. And pizza. And cookies. I'm tired of cooking for myself too- it's a lot of work, and it seems unfair to ask Bruce to cook for me if he won't be eating it with me. Parenting Caetlin is ever more of a challenge, as she really begins to attempt to assert her independence.

So, grumble. I think I do one of these posts every so often where I catalogue what's wrong with my life, and it always kind of comes out petty and stupid. Sorry about that. Higher hopes for tomorrow.

Accidentally Green

We hear a lot these days about "going green." It's all over the news and other pop culture outlets; Al Gore has made a second career out of it. They turned off the lights on the Golden Gate Bridge, among other places, in March for an hour, to make a point about environmentalism. Many states are legislating away the ability to purchase incandescent bulbs, in favor of the environmentally healthier compact fluorescent bulbs. Combined with high gas prices eating into their discretionary spending, many people have focused on the environmental benefits to hybrid cars, carpooling and public transportation. It's everywhere.

We are not the greenest family out there. But I'm finding that a lot of the changes we are making in our lives are having unintended (but certainly welcome!) environmentally friendly effects. We drive a hybrid, and we carpool the 3.5 miles to and from work every day, but that's nothing new for us. (We could be even more responsible, and take the train, but we tried that and it was too much of a convenience trade-off. Not because of the walk to and from the station, but because MARTA is not reliable enough for us to be able to predict our schedules sufficiently.)

Because I'm cooking more, I've started buying a lot more organic produce. I guess I really started buying more organic foods for Caetlin's sake (I think I've written about it here somewhere, but I'm too lazy to check right now). But that mindset has really spread, now that I'm cooking for myself, and paying more attention to what both I and Caetlin are eating. I'll be honest and say that the environmental benefits to organic food are a nice side-benefit, and are not my primary purpose in buying organic milk, for example, or hormone free chicken. I'm much more concerned about the high numbers of additives, and the potential effects of those additives on my daughter's developing brain and body. I just feel like our food has gone too far with chemicals and dyes and additives. I'm trying to avoid instilling some of my bad food habits in my daughter, and the best way I know how to do that is to prize natural wholesome food that is as healthy and unrefined as I can make it. And the best way I can do that, is to buy as much organically as I possibly can.

This mindset is extending to my garden, by the way. I am planning to raise my herbs and other produce organically, if I can swing it.

But the real extent of our environmentally friendly lifestyle changes really caught up with me tonight. I have mentioned this before, but I thought I would illustrate it with a couple of pictures.
Tonight we went for a walk with Caetlin after we got home from work. I drove the giant stroller (unlike a giant car, it has no higher emissions than my light, but less cargo-friendly, small stroller) down to CVS first, so Bruce could pick up a prescription. We went the long way, so it was about a 30 minute walk. Then we went across the street to the Publix, where I needed to complete our grocery shopping for the week. Caetlin wanted the ginormous cart that has the race car attached, so Bruce drove her in that while I shopped. Then at the checkout, we whipped out our reusable Publix shopping bags and loaded the stroller down with groceries and Caetlin.

The end result looked like this:


Here's the view from the back:



And another one, just because she's adorable:



We didn't mean to be so green. We just wanted some exercise, and the reusable bags fit into the stroller basket better than the plastic ones. They are also sturdier, and we were collecting way too many plastic bags. But we've ended up being about as environmentally friendly as possible. We walked instead of taking one, even possibly two, car trips. We cut down on plastic bags. We bought organic recycled paper towels, for heaven's sake!

I'm not tooting my horn here, except to say, yay me for exercising! And that stroller is heavy! Especially when loaded down with 28 pound toddler and probably 15 pounds of groceries (there was a 12 pack of diet soda under there too)! Almost all of what we do that is environmentally friendly is motivated by selfish reasons, and frankly, if I thought it were not worth the effort, I probably wouldn't do it. Unlike my friend from Charlotte, whom I admire but probably could not emulate, I don't really go out of my way to live green. But it turns out that a little planning and an attempt at being healthier in general has turned us into budding environmentalists.

Now, if I could just get the city of Atlanta to leave the recycling bin they've been promising.

Best Weekend Ever

So we've had a fantastic weekend this weekend (not over yet!). First, we took Caetlin to...

This was a hilarious photo op, drawing lots of "Aww"s from the people watching me take the picture.


There was a playground inside the festival, of which we made liberal use.


The petting zoo was also a big hit.


Caetlin spent some time looking pensive on her high seat on Daddy's shoulders, and generally playing around in the lovely greenspace.

Finally, she loved walking back...


And forth...

Across this little wooden bridge that spanned a small creek within the festival ground.

After that we brought her home and put her down for a nap, as she was clearly a very tired child. Despite being so tired, she took a very long time to fall asleep, managing to poop twice (her favorite nap delay technique). While she partied in her crib and eventually napped, Bruce and I dug out the space for the garden. We basically dug down about 6 inches, in one of the only places in our yard that gets a decent amount of sunlight. We more or less hand-tilled the dirt and sod, breaking up the grass and roots by hand- we don't have a tiller, and the plot isn't that big, so while it was tiring, it wasn't awful. Then we filled the dirt back in the hole, mixing organic gardening soil that we bought from Home Depot in with the mostly red clay that is our native soil. (Can I say how weird it seems to spend $60 on dirt?) Finally, we gave it a good watering, just to help everything settle in.

Here is the finished plot, waiting for planting, which we hope to accomplish this week.


It seriously looks like we buried a body there or something- it's about 6 feet long and 3 feet wide. Our neighbors are no doubt suspicious.

Here are the plants awaiting the newly prepared bed.


We have basil, rosemary, sage, chives, parsley, tomatoes, peppers and watermelon. I also have a couple of mint plants, but those are so thuggish in a garden, I'm just going to pot them and have them inside. Wish me luck that these don't all die over the summer, and hopefully I'll have some nice fresh tomatoes and peppers and herbs over the summer.

My next project, once these get in the ground and going, is to establish a potted indoor herb garden with the same plants. It's tough to do that here, though, since herbs taste best when they get lots of direct sunlight, and where the garden is, down at the bottom of the steps up to the house, is about the only place on our whole large lot that gets anything like a good amount of direct sun. I'm still working out how to make my indoor herb garden work out, but I'm sure I'll think of something. One thing at a time, anyway.

This morning, we got up and Caetlin and I met with the local Itsy Bitsy Yoga teacher for our private class. She doesn't have any weekend classes, so we meet her one on one (two, since it's Caetlin and me?). Caetlin loves the yoga- she loves doing the series of poses and moving her body like the active toddler she is- and I like the time with her. Bruce got a coffee and read while we were yoga-ing. Hilarious story from today's yoga: Caetlin is a huge fan of the "Toes to the Nose" pose (she calls it "Nose toes"). She was sitting on the floor, playing with the elephant beanie baby that the teacher had, and she reached down and touched the elephant's trunk to her big toe, saying, "Noooose toes!" It was hysterical- the teacher and I were laughing, after I translated for her.

Complete aside: One of the things that made me a little concerned about my fitness for having kids of my own was the fact that I never could understand toddler speech. Their parents seemed to understand it just fine, but I was mystified. I took this as a sign that I was not good with children. I have come to realize that parents know what their kids are saying, because they hear their kids all the time, and hear everything in context. So when Caetlin imitates me saying, "Let's get your shoes on!" I know that when she says, "Shuuzon," that's her imitation of me. No one not her parents or nanny would know. So, while I wish someone had helped correct my misperception earlier, I'm glad to know it wasn't a sign of my unfitness as a prospective parent.

After yoga, we all went to the Dekalb Farmers Market, which is one of my favorite places on earth. We bought a whole trunkful of wonderful fresh food, mostly organic, for $85. I can't buy 4 bags of food at the grocery store for $85! I still have to go to the grocery for some things, of course, but overall, we spend way less on much better quality produce.

That leads me to brag on my cooking for a minute. I think I mentioned that I wasn't a great cook about a month ago. I still wouldn't classify myself as a "great" cook, but I am improving so much! Mostly, I'm just not afraid of screwing up so much any more- it's usually going to be at least edible. On the menu this week: orange grilled scallops with mint and tomatoes, shepherd's pie (made with turkey and including squash and zucchini), and whole wheat linguine with cherry tomatoes and ricotta. Doesn't that all sound fabulous? Last night I made a frittata (which, why didn't anyone ever tell me how easy those are??) with asparagus and new potatoes and chives- it was so good. My cast iron enameled skillet has been getting a lot of use lately. I've really started enjoying cooking, and I'm terribly proud when I produce something so tasty. Plus, bonus, it's all healthy and veggie-laden, and I've lost 9 pounds, so it all seems to be working.

So this afternoon we ran a few more errands (including purchasing barrettes for Caetlin's hair, which if she will wear them, will be so freaking adorable), and then we met some new friends here for a 2.5 hour canoe tour of the Chattahoochee River. The canoe trip was lovely; the weather was perfect, sunny and in the upper 70s. We saw plenty of ducks and geese and a couple of herons and even a couple of swans. Then we had dinner with these same folks- Italian, which completely screwed my diet, but it was so tasty. In all, it was fantastic, a lovely end to a lovely weekend. Hope you all have had as good a weekend as we have- it's been just so perfect. My heart has been filled to capacity these last couple of days.

The Most Boring Post Ever

Not much posting because not much to say. Life just kind of rolls on around the No Math household. I have a couple of vacation picture posts that need to be worked up, but they generally take awhile and I haven't had "awhile" to focus on blogging for a couple of weeks.

Part of the time crunch is that we've been walking a lot for exercise and entertainment, and I've been cooking a lot, which takes up a lot of time when you're as bad with a chef's knife as I am (I'm getting better with practice, I can tell. Also, we've signed up for a beginner series of cooking classes at the end of June- can. not. wait.). Also, this week, I've been working a lot. Like, Charlotte-firm hours (before the slowdown, anyway; I hear from my old colleagues that everyone more or less surfs the internet all day right now). It kind of sucks, I have to say. I saw Caetlin for about 10 minutes total yesterday. Hopefully the ridiculous project that's been sucking my soul will end today and my schedule can go more or less back to normal.

Bruce had a rather sobering talk with his boss a few days ago about his attitude, which has , ah, verged on the cynical, shall we say, so he is working more as well, trying to add value wherever he can, given that there is not much work for him to do in his department. So he was working late last night as well, on, of all things, a litigation document review. I can only be grateful for our wonderful, fantastic, flexible nanny who is so willing to stay late and accommodate us.

Caetlin continues to grow and be awesome- she's a lot of fun to hang around with now. She's really growing into a real person with a real personality. She's become shy with strangers, which is actually really cute, because she kind of flirts with people she doesn't know, smiling and hiding her face. She surprises me daily with the things she says and knows.

Hmmm, what else? We're starting a garden. I want an herb garden and we're going to also throw in some tomatoes and peppers and other things too. I'll post pictures when the plants get in the ground. And then post pictures three weeks later, when inevitably the garden will be a barren ruin, thanks to my lack of skill with plants.

Yawn. I'm even boring myself. Wake me when my life gets interesting, will you?

Weight Watching

So, after returning from vacation, Bruce and I both embarked on some serious weight loss strategies, which have taken up a lot of our free time (hence the lack of posts). Instead of talking about and writing about wanting to eat more healthily and lose that 20 or so pounds, I'm actually doing something about it.

I joined Weight Watchers.

I have railed against Weight Watchers as Not For Me for years and years, so this may come as something of a surprise to those who have heard me decry the counting of "points" as too difficult. But I'm determined to start eating better this time, and I thought that Weight Watchers could teach me how to do that. I chose the "Core" plan, which is actually perfect for someone like me with my goals. On the Core plan, there is a list of foods that do not count any points at all; you can eat as much as you want of the foods on that list. There are a few rules; for example, potatoes or brown rice can only be eaten once per day. You are given 35 points per week for those items that you just can't live without, and you can obtain more points through activity. Best of all, there is a huge library of recipes with nutritional information included, many of which incur no points. The food list is full of really great stuff: fresh and frozen veggies, fruits of all kinds, lean chicken and turkey, fish, and lean beef. For the last two weeks, I have been carefully noting everything I have been eating, and I've been cooking for myself most nights. Now, I'm not much of a cook, though I can see already that I am getting better at it. But part of the point here is to force myself to cook, because by cooking, I will almost by default eat better (and we'll save money too).

I didn't sign up to go to meetings- I don't need a support group. I signed up for the online tools, which are easy and fun to use, and are really useful. It's easy to track what I'm eating when I enter them into the computer, as I am in front of a computer 7 days a week.

Best of all- it's working! I've lost 5 pounds in the last two weeks. Plus I just feel better- more energy, less upset tummy. And I think it will be easy to maintain this way of eating once I reach my goal- I'll probably allow myself a few more low fat, as opposed to fat free, dairy products, and maybe a bit more peanut butter, which I sorely miss- but otherwise, I think this is a great lifestyle change for me.

One thing I will say is that it has made me very aware of how much crap I was eating before, when I had thought I was making decent choices. It turns out that fast food and takeout just aren't that healthy, unless you're really paying attention to what you're ordering. And many times, the "healthy" options either contain hidden fat and calories or aren't very appetizing.

So, we just got back from yet another trip to the Dekalb Farmer's Market, where I've been going to load up on fresh, organic veggies and fruits, after having walked for an hour or so around the mall (best indoor activity for toddlers and parents on a rainy day). I plan to cook for the week either today or tomorrow. I'm also going to get the items I need for my own herb garden today, since I can see that I will spend a fortune on herbs if I don't start growing them myself.

I have a lot more to write about regarding this fairly radical lifestyle change of ours, but I'll talk about that later.

Oh! One more thing- I'd like to give a shout out to my friend in Charlotte, who recently started blogging here. She will tell you all about how to live a green lifestyle, and also maybe a little bit about her wonderful children and husband. Go check her out.

Also later- more vacation photos, as promised.