Deep Breath

I haven't written muh about it here, but recently I suffered a professional setback that was pretty shocking to me. I'm starting to gain a little perspective, that of course there are way more important things, like my family and home. There are also the smaller things that seem more gratifying than work: I made a chorizo/potato/collard greens/tomato/chickpea soup tonight that was fantastic, and I'm not much of a cook, so this was quite the domestic victory.

Once again I have given some thought to trying to stay at home with Caetlin, but I am not sure I am ready, of that I ever will be. In part, of course, this is a financial consideration. For me to stay at home, we would have to sell our house in Charlotte, and I'm not ready to concede that we're not going back yet. Also, we are trying to make hay while the sun shines, in the fact that while we're not paid nearly as well as if we had never moved away from Charlotte, we're still doing pretty well and able to live below our means and sock it away for retirement and Caetlin's college. That is worth a little delayed gratification.

But it's not just financial. It's a joint decision. Bruce hates his job, and I can't abandon him to being the sole breadwinner until we can figure out some way for him to be happy. And while I might be completely ready to give domesticity a try, I can't in good conscience make the selfish decision to stay at home when I know it traps him in a position he hates.

Anyway, I think it's best for me to continue working for awhile longer yet. We will have to remain flexible in our thinking about and planning for the future. But still, I'm glad to report that at this time continuing to work isn't quite as horrible as I've made it out to be.