A Fall Complaint

So, it's finally fall down here in the land of 2.5 seasons (we have summer, spring and fall which are generally so similar as to be one season, and half a season that approximates winter). The nights are finally getting cooler, there is a definite nip in the 70+ degree air, and the leaves are falling off those trees that do that each year.

The leaves are falling.

Gah!

Do not get me wrong; I love watching the leaves change colors. And I love seeing the carpets of pretty colored leaves on bright green grass, or lining the street getting stirred up by passing cars, etc. I love the smell of burning bonfires which truly says fall to me (admittedly less common here in the middle of the city than it was when I was growing up in the sticks). I even love how they look in the cold rain that comes in November, all shiny and slick and sad at the passing of the year. I love deciduous trees, okay?

But the thing that I cannot stand, the thing that drives me batshit crazy, the absolute worst thing about fall, also comes along with the falling leaves.

Leaf blowers.

They drive me out of my ever-loving mind.

I think they are wildly unnecessary (if you want your yard leaf free, get out there and rake it like we did when we were kids). I also think the piles of debris they create are far, far uglier than the leaves, pine straw, etc. where they originally fell, and that they are ridiculous on their face- what, you'll blow the leaves to...where, exactly? Just...where no one objects to them piling up?? It doesn't get rid of them, or use them for any useful purpose, just...moves them. Next door. Or where ever. I swear, we saw someone blowing leaves down the turn lane of the road we live next to this morning. We had to be careful not to run the man over on the way to work this morning. Why would anyone care that that particular section of turn lane would be leaf free, for crying out loud? But the main reason I hate them, beyond all of that, beyond the gas that is inevitably wasted on these infernal machines and the nasty fumes that they spill in the crisp fall air, is the noise. Oh, God, the noise. I swear to you, we have someone in the immediate vicinity of our house blowing leaves every single day of the week. It does not matter which day. I hear leaf blowers nearly every day when I am home at lunch. This morning, it started up right outside our house at 8 a.m. on the button. I'm sorry, that is too early for leaf blowing! (I'm sorry to say it may have been the people who care for our yard. These folks are engaged and paid by the landlord, so we have no say whatsoever in what implements they use or what time they use them.) If I am trying to have a restful afternoon at home, invariably the minute I turn off the TV and computer and snuggle under the covers for an illicit afternoon nap, someone starts a leaf blower.

And it's not just the amount of noise pollution these things create. It's the quality. That start-stop intermittent noise that burrows into my skull and makes it impossible for me to sleep through it, or ignore it in any way. Rrrrrrrr. Rrrrrrrr. Rrrr-RRRRRRRRR. RRRRRRRRRRRR. Rrrrr-rrr-rrrrrrrrrrr.

I know I'm fighting a losing battle here. I will never convince people to let the leaves be, or at least go back to rake and lawn & leaf bags or bonfires. People, at least in my neighborhood, seem to want the beauty of large trees but think their waste products are bothersome and must be dealt with in the least (visually) obtrusive way possible. Most of my neighbors take immaculate care of their lawns and landscaping and surely would not stand for any of that hard work to be covered by or- gasp!- even killed by an accumulation of leaves. We must control nature! By paying other people to do it while we're working!

I've said it before- I'm no nature-obsessed hippie. I don't live a particularly green life, and while I love the outdoors, I don't commune with it terribly regularly. My irritation here is far more selfish than planet-centered, but it does seem as if our needs align this once. The planet needs for us to stop wasting gas and venting nasty fumes in the ridiculous vain pursuit of taming the falling leaves. I just need some peace and quiet.