Holiday Memories

So, the things that made my holidays memorable:

Spending an all-too-rushed night of Hanukkah with our good friends in Charlotte; watching them light the candles of their Menorah and listening to them say the ritual prayers. Hebrew is such a lovely language- it always sounds so old and melodic. Then we all opened presents and shared a few glasses of wine and had just a lovely time. That seems like so long ago now, though it was only about three weeks ago.

Working, working, working: all night, all day, all the time at my office. Yuck. But a very cool deal to be on, and a terribly satisfying closing. Sadly, then continuing on to close three more deals today, which have been painfully drawn out.

Breathing the sigh of relief Friday afternoon, knowing that the next 4 days would likely not include too much work. Fortunately and unfortunately, I had many family obligations that would fill those days.

Driving to my dad's on Saturday morning; the swirl of people I don't know at my dad's house, Caetlin being her usual sweet self, her little blond head bobbing around the various pieces of furniture, surfacing in one part of the room or another. Fabulous dinner, then the embarrassment of having no gift for someone who had one for me. Also an Elmo toy that sings a song that will not leave my head, and the further embarrassment of Caetlin's toe having popped through the foot of her nearly-too-small PJs. Also, warmth, and family, and light, and so many Christmas decorations! Driving back in that greasy misty rain that makes it hard to see no matter what, on the windy narrow road that was fortunately pretty empty at that time of night.

The ridiculous pace of Monday, when I finished my shopping at like 6 places, got my nails done, got Caetlin and myself ready for church, made it to church not too late, met my sister and family, held a wiggly, fidgety Caetlin who lost it in the communion procession because she wanted to be down and walking around, laughed and "Awwww" -ed at the children's pageant presented by toddlers (the herald angel stomped off to her parents in a most amusing fashion), went to dinner at TGI Friday's, where my happy baby girl made friends with everyone, especially the nice man who gave her a balloon. Then bringing her home and listening to the quiet of the house after she went to bed, and knowing that I had an hour's worth of wrapping to do. That was a little disheartening, but I also remember that I went to bed early and got 10 hours of sleep, aided by my adorable daughter who slept in a little on Christmas.

Then the quiet Christmas morning, where we opened presents and made off to my sister's for Christmas brunch and dinner. Caetlin bobbed along again, the food was fantastic, if ill-timed, since Caetlin missed her afternoon nap. There was an incident with a battery-operated candle-shaped lamp and a broken bulb that resulted in my daughter's blood and tears flowing, but no permanent damage. Her gifts from my sister's family were a big hit. We watched "A Christmas Story," which I managed to sleep through part of, and "Elf" which I felt guilty for watching while Bruce followed Caetlin around the non-babyproof house. The dogs and cats, the stairs that Caetlin persisted in climbing up with reckless disregard for gravity, the much needed rain that fell all day long, the crackle of the crust on the marshmallow fluff on top of the sweet potato casserole (if you use fluff instead of mini marshmallows it stays gooey on the inside and makes a fabulous crust on the top). The hurtful comment from my sister about my desire to lose a little weight that cast a pall on the rest of the otherwise wonderful day. I know she didn't mean anything hurtful by it, but I do know that she is showing a bit less sensitivity to me than I- and everyone- was required to show her when she was concerned about her weight. (Clearly it still stings.) Driving home in the dark, Caetlin "reading" her Curious George book in her car seat- she holds it right side up most times, and babbles as if she is reading and I find it adorable.

Dragging my ass back to work on Wednesday, to get ready for closing the three deals today, and for going on vacation next week. I imagine it will be something of a working vacation, as everyone else ramps back up at the start of the new year.

I know there is still a holiday to go- New Year's Eve, which I imagine I will spend with my family, my in-laws in Texas, and my husband and my hopefully sleeping daughter, and New Year's Day, which I hope to be spending watching football, specifically watching my Bulldogs show the country that they should have played for the championship, but also the other bowls as well. So those are memories I haven't made yet. But the holiday season is definitely drawing to a close.

These are my memories of it, good and bad. I can't coat the season with the sugar that it seems to want, but it is, and always will be, wonderful to know that I have family who love me, whom I love, family I'm not related to (I'm looking at you, my Jewish friends!) and family I've known literally all my life. Family who have come to be mine through luck, my wonderful husband, and through grace, my beautiful daughter.

So while my holiday wasn't exactly visions of sugarplums dancing in my head, neither was it my head not being screwed on quite right, my shoes being on too tight, or my heart being two sizes too small. Somewhere in between, I think. Isn't it that way for most of us?