Vacation Thoughts

Well, while we are technically still on vacation through tomorrow, we're back in the ATL, having completed the drive from Austin to here in one long day yesterday. We left at about 10 a.m. eastern time, and got home at about 1:30 a.m. this morning. I think the hardest part was the afternoon, when Caetlin was most decidedly tired of the car, the car seat, the toys we had for her, everything. But even then she did really well, didn't fuss too much, and we only had one minor meltdown right before she went to sleep for the rest of the trip.

We're battling some really bad diaper rash, so changing her diaper on the road kind of sucked, trying to clean her super-well and then make sure she was dry and then apply diaper cream liberally while she's perched on a rickety changing station, wiggling, and upset because what I was doing hurt. But all in all, a decent trip, especially for one so long. It took forever to get out of Texas (many large trucks on 300 miles of 2-lane roads), and there is some bizarre construction at the Georgia line that shunted us onto the westbound side of the interstate without warning, into one narrow lane that had no exits and of course no passing, for about 10 miles. That was kind of sucky, since we got behind a large truck that apparently couldn't go faster than about 52. To be so close to home, and stuck like that was awful.

However, clearly we made it, generally none the worse for wear.

I have to say, it wasn't as relaxing and restful a trip as I hoped it would be. While it was great to see my in-laws, who are fabulous, and while it was lovely having so much time with Caetlin, work really didn't leave me alone all week. Caetlin got off her routine right at the beginning, and had kind of a tough time of it after that, failing to sleep at regular intervals and then subsequently being cranky and generally making it hard to execute our plans. Bruce and I picked at each other a lot of the week- I hate to say it, but I was doing a lot of the picking. The combination of cranky and unpredictable Caetlin plus a generally constantly buzzing Blackberry made me very stressed. We also, because of the aforementioned work and crankiness, didn't get to do much of what we had planned for ourselves. We had been looking forward to revisiting the old stomping grounds, eating at all the old haunts, and seeing a movie or two. We didn't get to do really any of that; we saw no movies, we only were able to take a short drive around some of the remembered parts of town, and only managed a couple of meals at the places we miss.

There were some really good times, though; don't get me wrong. On Monday we had New Year's Eve dinner with Bruce's aunt and grandmother, and I have to say, while I hadn't been looking forward to it, only because Caetlin had pretty much not napped all day and I was petrified of a meltdown, she was fantastic, she charmed everyone, we were able to teach her how to go backwards down stairs, which was so vital and necessary that it made her sleep deprivation all worth it, and I really enjoyed meeting and talking with Bruce's family. Bruce's aunt cooked a great dinner, and to my surprise, a good time was had by all. Then there was New Year's Day, when a good friend was gracious enough to drive all the way down from Fort Worth on super short notice, just to see us and meet Caetlin. She's been going through some hard times over the past year, and while I know I haven't been there for her like I should have, it was so good to see her, and I hope she has forgiven me and we can continue on as friends. She is some of that family I wasn't quite born with, as I wrote about here.

Then, the football game, overall a disappointment, but something I definitely wanted to make time for. We also got to see the land Bruce's parents plan to build their retirement home on, which is in a little town about 45 minutes outside of the city. And we were able to catch up with some other friends of ours, whom we have been ridiculously remiss in keeping up with, and meet their adorable little boy, who is just turning two (see, I told you we had been remiss!). It was so good to see them, and made me realize how much I missed them.

Likewise, driving around Austin made me realize how much I missed it, and by extension, how Atlanta sort of isn't working for us. I'm not saying it couldn't work for us, but right now it's just not. And that makes me sad. I mean, I think that in the rush of daily life, I generally ignore how much better things could be for us if we lived somewhere else, but this vacation brought it into sharp relief for Bruce and me both. We spent a good portion of yesterday's drive home talking about whether we wanted to consider moving back to Austin, and surprised ourselves when it remained on the table after some intense discussion.

I think the biggest thing is the whole lack of parenting support. I always kind of snort to myself a little when I read on parenting blogs about moms needing "support" for raising their kids, and it's kind of cheesy to refer to the whole "It takes a village" concept, but I think it might be true. For those few days we were in Austin, I had more willing and happy offers of babysitting than I ever have in Caetlin's life. And for those few days in Austin, I had more social outings with friends than I have since I've been in Atlanta, not counting the trips back to Charlotte. Even better, one of those friends has a small child of her own, and she talked about the mom friends she has made. Not that being a mom is automatic grounds for friendship, but I miss being able to talk about parenting (among other things) with girlfriends, and now that we're entering into a bit of a difficult toddler phase with Caetlin, I sure could use some advice, commiseration, sympathy, whatever. And the babysitting! How wonderful would it be not to have to pay for babysitting, not to feel like we're imposing if we stay out a little later, not to feel the meter running and the clock ticking every time we wanted to go out! Caetlin's grandparents are wonderful with her, and are enthusiastically willing to babysit.

Atlanta has been a terrible let down in the familial support area, to me. For a variety of reasons, the support that we, rightly or wrongly, expected on moving here hasn't been as forthcoming as we thought it would be. I think the bottom line is that I really did think we would have more contact in general with my sister and her family when we moved to Atlanta, and it's been a huge disappointment to me that we don't see them more often, whether for babysitting or just general socializing. We're in a similar situation with my dad; while I'm reasonably confident he and my stepmom would babysit if they came to visit, their visits are rare, so it's not like there's much in-person support from that corner.

And then there's the friends thing. Obviously I have written before on this blog about not making any friends at work, and how I'm going to have to make more of an effort, by finding something else to do where I can meet people. We're planning on joining the church that I have written about, and will try to get active there in the hopes of meeting some young families to socialize with. There are other things I could do, too, like joining a charity organization or something. But I find myself questioning whether I have the time or energy to put into joining these causes, then developing the relationships that I hope would grow out of them. It almost feels like it would take so long and take so much time that it's not even worth trying. And if I get caught up in work again, so much of that time would be lost and effort could be undone. I have had friendships disintegrate as a result of my work schedule. I'm not sure it's worth the effort if that could likely happen again.

Anyway, I think our visit to Austin gave us a lot to think about.